


Another Visit

by carpetsocks



Category: The Order of the Stick
Genre: Angst and Romance, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kissing, Other, Post-Divorce, Regret, Word Games, out of character or hidden depths, the oracle is a jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29172969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpetsocks/pseuds/carpetsocks
Summary: The Order goes to visit the Oracle one last time. Doesn't really fit into canon.
Relationships: Belkar Bitterleaf/Vaarsuvius
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Another Visit

They were talking to the Oracle. Again. Belkar sighed and tried to carve his name in one of the walls. If Roy hadn’t been there, that loser would have already been dead. But no. Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes had forbidden any and every sort of violence.

The walls were made of stone and not very cooperative with his efforts to vandalize them. Belkar glanced over his shoulder, searching for his next source of entertainment.

Roy and Durkon were talking to that stupid kobold. How long did it take to decide on a price, anyway? Elan was composing some sappy love poem for Haley, who was listening politely. Mr. Scruffy was licking himself. In fact, the only person who seemed as bored as him was V. The elf was seated on one of the couches, lazily flipping through a book half as thick as the ones the wizard usually read.

“Hey, Ears. Whatcha reading?” Belkar asked, moving across the room, and jumping onto the couch. V shot him an annoyed glare.

“Matters that are far too advanced for someone of your intellectual capabilities.” The elf put the book down and turned to face him. “And what would lead you to inquire about my reading?”

Belkar shrugged and lounged back. He prodded the elf with his toe. “Hey, can you move over? I don’t have nearly enough leg room here.”

V sighed and scooted over a few inches. “You failed to answer my question.”

“I’m bored. There’s nothing to do here.”

“Perhaps you are simply suffering from a lack of creativity.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe you should help me come up with something before I lose my mind and start stabbing everything.”

“Although I doubt the amount of violence you dole out is in any way restricted by your sanity, for the party’s sake, I will attempt to aid you in relieving your boredom.” V sat back, violet-pink eyes flickering around the room.

Belkar waited for as long as his short attention span allowed him, and then poked V with his foot. “Hey, I’m still going crazy over here. I thought you said you’d help.”

“Patience. I am attempting to find something that will entertain you for more than a few moments.”

“We could play a game.”

V turned their penetrating gaze to the halfling. “What manner of game?”

“Uh… you like smart stuff, right? We could play a word game. I say a four-letter word, and then you say one, but it has to start with whatever letter mine ended with. Eventually, we get longer and longer words, until neither of us can think one up.”

“Aside from my surprise that you would know of, let alone remember the rules to such a game, I am intrigued. Very well. You may go first.”

“Uh… said.”

“It does not have to be related in any way except the first and last letters being the same?”

“Yep.”

“Very well, then. Dupe.”

“Ears.” Belkar grinned at the elf, who scowled and twitched one of the appendages in question.

“Seek.”

“Keys.”

“Sewn.”

“Uh… um… newly.”

“’Newly’ has five letters. You must choose a different one.”

Belkar scoffed and sat up. “Whatever. This is easy for you. I’m changing the rules. Androgynous genius elves have to start at like, nine letters.”

V simply nodded. “That seems fair, considering our respective intelligence scores. It is still your turn, however.”

Belkar flopped back. “I forgot what letter I was doing.”

“I believe it was N.”

“Fine… news.”

“Excellent. Sociopath.”

Belkar kicked the elf, hard enough to hurt but not bruise. “That ends with an H, right?”

V scowled and rubbed at the wounded thigh. “Indeed.”

“Fine. Hens.”

“Semblance.”

“Easy.”

“Yesterday.”

“Yeah.”

“May I increase to ten letters?”

“Yeah, sure.” Belkar stretched out all the way, draping his legs across the wizard’s lap. “Show off.”

V removed the halfling’s legs. “Hindrances.”

Belkar sat up. “Couldn’t you have just done hindrance?”

“I was growing weary of nine letter words starting with the letter S. There is a much better selection of ten letter S words.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

V had just opened their mouth to name some off when Roy interrupted.

“Hey, V, Belkar. Get over here,” the fighter called.

“Finally!” Belkar hopped off the couch and trotted over to Roy. “Can I stab him now?”

Roy sighed. “No, Belkar.”

The Oracle’s face was just short of sticking out his tongue at him. Belkar started to move forward, eyes flashing, but four slender fingers gently but firmly landed on his shoulder.

His head snapped around to look at V. The elf withdrew their hand and turned away, but the tips of their ears were turning red. His shoulder tingled where they’d touched him.

The lights dimmed and he suddenly became aware of the rest of the Order talking to the kobold. He let his eyes fall down V’s body, silently cursing how baggy their robes were, and turned his attention to the main scene.

Roy’s had to do with the plot. Elan tried to get more details on his “happy ending.” Haley asked about her father, and Durkon about his kid. Belkar rolled his eyes, but V would notice if he went back to ogling them. It wasn’t worth the fight.

“V, your turn!” Roy called. The elf slipped past Belkar and dropped their bag of coins on the pile.

“Will I…“ They broke off, and then quietly continued, “Will Inkyrius accept me back?”

Belkar glanced at the others, but they were conferring among themselves. Was he really the only one who just heard that? V looked so broken…

“No.” Was that really a glint of amusement in that no-good kobold’s eyes? A smile? Belkar’s hands balled into fists as he stalked forward. His daggers were already halfway unsheathed, he was going to give him what was coming to him and—

Roy grabbed the back of his collar and lifted him up to his height. Belkar kicked out at him but all that did was set him swinging. The Oracle descended out of his trance, chuckling. “Oops, out of service.” He scooped up the bags of gold and set off up the stairs. “Bye bye, see you all again never.”

“What were you thinking?!” Roy demanded. “I specifically told you no violence!”

Belkar squirmed until the big lump dropped him. Giving him his best glare, he walked over to the elf staring out the window. “Hey Ears,” he said, “Wanna go find that loser and see how much gold he has?”

V shook their head. A drop of water hit the dusty windowsill. Belkar leaned a little bit more forward, realization sweeping over him, but V just seemed to curl into themself more. Behind him he heard Haley whisper something and the shuffle of metal descending down the stairs, and then the quiet that let him know they were alone on the floor.

Belkar watched the water form little puddles and drain down the crevices in the rock. Occasionally, a shaky gasp for air would come from the trembling elf next to him, but other than that there was absolute silence.

“At…“ He immediately wished he hadn’t said anything, but V was watching him out of the corner of their eye. No turning back now. “At least you know they’re safe.”

V stared at him with those big tear-filled amethyst eyes for a long moment, and then sunk to the ground sobbing. Belkar instinctively reached out a hand but a choked-out, “leave me,” stopped him.

What was he doing here? Haley would be so much better for this, why had she left him here? His remedy to a bad day was to stab anything within reach. How was he supposed to know how to comfort the helplessly sobbing elf at his feet?

Then the full implications of his thoughts hit him. Comfort? Why did he care? If it weren’t for Roy’s stupid rules V would have found themselves on the end of one of his daggers by now, so why did he feel this desperate need to stop their tears, to fix what he’d done, to make them smile… an image of one of his cousins jumping on a table to illicit a brief smile from the girl they fancied flashed through his head. No. This couldn’t be happening. He was the Belkster, the actual incarnation of “love them and leave them.” He couldn’t be falling for some androgynous twit!

He prodded V with his foot. “Come on Ears, the others are waiting.”

“Leave… me.” The words were forced past the gasping, body-shaking sobs. “You’re… all… better off… without… me.”

“No. We need you, V.” Where had that come from?

Maybe it was the conviction in his voice that made them look up. “Belkar,” they whispered, and before either one of them knew it, his hands had slid past their shoulders and around their back and V was crying on their shoulder as he held them.

“Come with us, please,” Belkar whispered, “we need you.”

V lifted their head off his shoulder just enough to kiss his cheek. His heart leapt into his throat and hammered there. He stood frozen, too scared to look at them.

“Belkar?” V had stopped crying. The tense question was obvious in their voice.

He glanced sideways at them, watching their violet eyes drop to his lips and then snap back up. V wet their lips nervously and took a deep breath. The tip of his nose brushed theirs, and then their lips landed on his and they were kissing. He thought V would stop but they wrapped their thin arms around his neck and leaned in more. Well, if they really wanted him, he would reciprocate.

“Oh, Odin’s beard, what are you two doing!” Blackwing squawked as he swept up the stairs and across the room. V scrambled out of Belkar’s arms and the cold air stung his lips.

“ExcusemeIneedamomentpleaseinformthepartyIwilljointhemshortly,” they said, the words rushing together. They smoothed their robes and turned towards their raven, head held high. He watched them for a moment, but they did nothing.

Blackwing peeked around them and jerked his head towards the stairs. Slowly, Belkar backed away until his foot slipped over the top stair. He spun around and fled.

**Author's Note:**

> I told myself I needed to write something and this is the result.


End file.
